You look good. Did you do something different with your hair? No? New shirt?
Oh. New nose. Well, it looks fantastic. You can hardly notice that thing that used to be on it.
Okay. Okay okay okay. Forgive me, followers, for I have sinned. It has been fuck knows how long since my last confession. But I have a really good excuse.
I am really lazy, you guys. So lazy. If I weren’t so irritating I wouldn’t even get out of my own way.
God, this is awkward. It’s my first game of Seven Minutes in Heaven all over again, but with fewer mediocre-looking erections. (Except, uh, you in the back. That’s… flattering. Thank you.)
In 2012, I will be a better blogger. Cross my icy little heart.
Really, the nose looks great.
As soon as I posted this, WordPress popped up to let me know I’d published my 24th post. Next goal: 25!
Way to give me the bright purple participation ribbon of shame, WordPress.